Tuesday, January 26, 2016

10 things you shouldn’t do on a trail run

Here is one of my old RunHaven articles.  I hope you enjoy it.

Running trails has a whole different set of rules than running on your local streets. There are some things that you definitely shouldn’t do while on a trail run.

1)         Don’t throw rocks at Bigfoot. They can outrun you and throw bigger rocks than you can. It’s not worth it.
2)         Trails are not a place to try and beat a PR you have while running on paved roads. You will most likely burn yourself out or fall off a cliff.
3)         If you come to a creek, just run though it, don’t tip-toe though it or your running buddies will make fun of you. Please tell me you aren’t afraid to get your trail shoes dirty!
4)         If you take pepper spray with you, make sure it’s locked so you don’t accidentally spray yourself. Nothing makes you easier pray than when you are laying on the ground because you sprayed yourself.
5)         Don’t put on cologne or perfume before a trail run. The smell will attract insects and other unwanted predators.
6)         It is probably a good idea to tie your keys to something (i.e. backpack pocket, shoe laces, etc.).  Otherwise you will be playing “Where the f*ck are my keys!” You could call a locksmith if you hadn’t put your phone in the center console of your car.
7)         If you can’t make it to a bathroom remember, “Leaves of three, let it be!” Poison ivy and poison oak do not make good toilet paper. Ouch!
8)         Don’t pet that cute doggy near the fence. It’s a coyote and guess what… you’re dinner!
9)         Remember what your parents always told you. If the idiot in front of you crossed the river above a waterfall, would you? Think about this one before you answer.

10)      After running to the top of a hill, it probably isn’t wise to pee off of a cliff into the wind. The mist you feel won’t be coming from a waterfall.

Have you experienced any of these funny trail running mishaps? Do you have any funny things you shouldn’t do on a trail run? Please feel free to share in the comments below.  

Copyright 2014
*Used by permission of MOKO.Mobi, Inc.

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